Why

Why do we feel so let down by others?  Maybe the question I should be asking is, “Why do we hold others to such expectations as our own?” Or, “Why do we hope so much for someone without considering if they are capable, or if what we want for them is really what they want for them?”

I recently felt so let down, disappointed, heartbroken, by someone I love with all my heart.  I am still struggling to make sense of the situation, to determine how I am to feel, and respond, and move forward with the “new” person they now are.  I want to let go, to breathe, to support this person.  But, I feel as if providing my support is in essence saying the decision that was made, and the result of that decision is okay, that I am okay with what happened, what is happening, and what may happen.  However, I am not okay.  How do I/we move forward?  How do I/we decide when its the right time to talk, to accept the situation as it is?

While this disappointment and heartbreak is not for my child, I do believe that once you become a mother, you feel more intensely, more fiercely- you feel more.  I want to  forgive, but don’t understand why I feel that I have been wronged.  I must remind myself that this is not my child, this is not my life, and that I love this person so much.  I must separate myself from their future, their struggles, and what lies ahead for them.  I must realize that I can only live my life by my expectations.  I must remind myself that I can offer suggestions due to experience, but that those suggestions may be ignored, or modified.

So, I guess that answer to the questions above could be love.  Or, maybe selfishness.  Maybe its a situation that can be changed from selfishness to love through letting go, providing support, and be willing/open to others personal journeys.